Stuff

This blog is a new obsession of mine. It has the ability to make me laugh and feel insecure all at the same time. Please, enjoy...
Stuff White People Like
(Thanks to James and Lyndsay for introducing me.)

Cellular Phone

I was driving home last night drinking a Dr. Pepper. It was a nice treat as I think that Dr. Pepper tastes just like candy. I rarely drink soda anymore, specifically soda with caffeine. But, I was having an okay day and I wanted to treat myself.
As I was drinking I noticed an annoyingly large amount of bubbles coming from the straw. This tends to happen when there is a little crack in the straw and air is entering into the straw as you suck, mixing with the soda. This has always really bothered me. I put up with it for about 4 sips before I had enough and took off the lid and straw and began to drink straight from the cup.
I put the cup back in my cup holder confident that everything would be okay as I refuse to take the freeway home and drive as slow as possible taking a road home where the speed limit never exceeds 35.
My phone, which was sitting in a compartment next to my drink, began to ring. I looked at it and saw that it was my friend, Kevin calling. I picked up my phone and just as I was lifting it over the soda, it slipped from my fingers and landed right in the icey Dr. Pepper. Completely submerged. I screamed obscenities, grabbed it out of the soda as fast as I could and began wiping it dry on anything I could find. My skirt, my shirt, the seat of my car. It was wet and sticky and soda was pouring out of all the holes my phone has. At one point I tipped it sideways to try to take out my battery and Dr Pepper came pouring out of the phone charging holes. Obscenities!!!! I knew for sure that my phone was fried.
Upon arriving home, I immediately took my phone apart, set it in front of a fan and hoped for the best. I borrowed my roommates phone and called my little sister Kellen’s boyfriend Cole, who happens to work for Verizon and has always been a valuable hookup (and also a swell guy). He told me to give it a few hours in front of the fan and then we would go from there. I gave it a few hours and then reassembled the sticky mess. It turned on. I could text, receive and make calls. Everything seemed to be working fine. It was a miracle. Until, this morning when I tried calling Kellen and she couldn’t hear me. Maybe there is still sticky soda stuck in the mouth piece. Cole is going to see what he can do for me when I go home for Easter this weekend. Until then, please communicate with me via text or email. What a nightmare.
What is the worst thing that has ever happened with you and your cellular phone?

No Calories!

I got this mass email from my boss upon arriving at work this morning:
Good Morning! Fruit plates in kitchen; sugar free and calorie free! Enjoy!
I just want you all to know that one of the smartest men that I know thinks that fruit has no calories. I really love the idea of him eating pounds and pounds of fruit with reckless abandon, feeling guilt free because, hey! it's calorie free!
I have no plans of letting him know. Why would I ever want to spoil his fun?

I hate:

• When there is a story on msn.com that I want to read but I don't have time so I just think, I'll come back to it later and then it is GONE. No where to be found. And I really wanted to read about that life of a high end call girl...
• When my co-worker, whose office is just a few feet down from mine, YELLS for her secretary to come. "KIMMY!?! KIMMY!?! I NEED YOU!"
• When plans that I am looking forward to have to be cancelled.
• When people ask me questions that I feel are an attempt to entice me to gossip.
• When people loudly debate politics near me and it would be inappropriate for me to chime in.
• Having to work when the weather is amazing outside.
• Flat tires
• When people do me favors and I have no way of paying them back.